Human Hesitancy

1 Samuel 15:24-35 Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. Now therefore, please pardon my sin and return with me that I may bow before the Lord.” And Samuel said to Saul, “I will not return with you. For you have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel.” As Samuel turned to go away, Saul seized the skirt of his robe, and it tore. And Samuel said to him, “The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this day and has given it to a neighbor of yours, who is better than you. And also the Glory of Israel will not lie or have regret, for he is not a man, that he should have regret.” Then he said, “I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may bow before the Lord your God.” So Samuel turned back after Saul, and Saul bowed before the Lord. Then Samuel said, “Bring here to me Agag the king of the Amalekites.” And Agag came to him cheerfully. Agag said, “Surely the bitterness of death is past.” And Samuel said, “As your sword has made women childless, so shall your mother be childless among women.” And Samuel hacked Agag to pieces before the Lord in Gilgal. Then Samuel went to Ramah, and Saul went up to his house in Gibeah of Saul. And Samuel did not see Saul again until the day of his death, but Samuel grieved over Saul. And the Lord regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.(ESV)

Sometimes doing the will of God is hard, painful even. In the text, Samuel is told by God to go to Saul, the king of Israel, and tell him that he has been rejected as king over Israel, because of his disobedience. Saul had been tasked by God to annihilate the people of Amalek because of their wickedness and cruelty to the people of Israel during their wandering from Egypt. (1 Samuel 15:2)

Instead of doing what he was tasked with, Saul takes the king of Amalek, Agag, captive and also takes the very best of the livestock for himself. God tells Samuel of this disobedience. In verse 11 of the same chapter, it says that Samuel cried to God all night. Have you ever been there? You know that God is calling you somewhere, telling you to perform a task, and it is something you really don't want, something you're afraid of, something that you know will cost you dearly? This was that moment for Samuel. In 1 Samuel 10:24 we can see that Samuel had held a high respect for Saul, "And Samuel said to all the people, “Do you see him whom the Lord has chosen? There is none like him among all the people.” And all the people shouted, “Long live the king!”(ESV)

Saul had been good for the nation of Israel. He had driven the Philistines out, organized and protecting the land given to the Hebrews, helping to form a good nation. But he had erred, and willfully, and God was now rejecting him, through the same man, Samuel, who had anointed him. I do not believe that Samuel wanted this, but Saul had been forgiven once before for his disobedience, and it was not going to happen this time. So Samuel went, he was blunt and straight-forward. He obeyed the will of God, even when it hurt. When it was over, he was heart-broken. You can see this in verse 34 of our text, Samuel grieves over Saul.

God will sometimes bring us here, to that point where our will and His part ways. He wants to see how much we really desire to obey Him, really desire to be used by Him, how much we really desire His will and way. It happened to Jesus, remember? "Not my will, but Thine be done." Jesus actually prayed that if it was possible, God would make it so He did not have to be crucified. He did not want the path laid before Him. He followed it because God's will led that way. And because of His obedience, we can now enter into the Paradise of Heaven, through His sacrifice, we are saved.

The same was true of Samuel. Through his obedience, the nation of Israel was given to David, and through David, Israel became a mighty nation. Through David, Jesus was descended. What might have happened if Samuel disobeyed?

It is very possible that God is speaking to you. Desiring something of you that makes you hesitate. You're afraid that you may lose friends. It is possible, it happened to Samuel. Saul was his friend. You may alienate family. You may be mocked. It may be the hardest decision you ever make, but you will never make a mistake following the will of God. It is when we are out of our comfort zone that God can use us the most, because it is there that we learn to rely on Him most.

God knows what He is doing. Follow His will. You will be blessed.

Beyond the pain, outside our box, in His arms. That is where He desires us to be.